“Flying straight into solid objects” – Bernadette Cacca

Daily writing prompt
What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

“Come here, I need to show you something…” shapeshifting humanoid turkey vulture Carla Moran hisses from the atop her daughter Bernadette M. Cacca’s Manteno home where she is busy playing kazoo pop covers as she burns the port-a-potty waste in her washroom.

“I’m busy.” Bernadette begins to play harder/faster/bigger/stronger into her toy instrument.



 “Bernadette, I have some projects for you to do!”


“I’m all pooped out.”

The vulture takes flight and makes air donuts around the Caccas’ property.

“I’ll smack some sense into you if you don’t—”

“BOOOM!”

Carla’s extra-long, pointy beak slams into a tree, creating a large crack in its bark, tail-feathers shaking as the creepy craptor wiggles her entire body around trying to break free from her own self-imposed prison.

That poor tree.

I can grab things off the bottom shelf, unlike these guys: Creator of the Moroniverse

Daily writing prompt
How would you describe yourself to someone who can’t see you?

Chief Moron Wrangler

Daily writing prompt
If humans had taglines, what would yours be?

There are over 500 tales about the denizens of the Moroniverse and their antics. It’s a silly job but someone has to do it! These stories don’t themselves. I’ll only stop when the world runs out of morons.

Fun fact: “Moron” is the Welsh word for carrot!

Wally Green’s Turd Machines

Daily writing prompt
What are your favorite brands and why?

“Of all the turd-machines I’ve bought, I love Wally Green’s the most! I get great deals on them, buy one/get one half off (but never free). The other brands just don’t measure up. I love my Turd Machine Deluxes because I can keep my vaults safe to mine Craptocoins the old fashioned way!”

Bernadette Moran Cacca, Manteno

Bill Collector Awareness Day

Daily writing prompt
What is your favorite holiday? Why is it your favorite?

Also known as “International Thank A Debt Collector Day”, Kankakee bill-collector Sybil Kibble thinks this day is just keen. Next time she calls, throw her a dog bone or two to celebrate this uniquely moronic holiday (just not the Brand X kind).

Bernadette M Cacca wishes to doo-doo her dooty more often.

Daily writing prompt
What do you wish you could do more every day?

The Manteno Wonder and ex-GI wants to mine more Craptocoin the old fashioned way, from N.F.T.s — Newly Formed Turds.

Life-hack

Daily writing prompt
What is a word you feel that too many people use?

If you’re not Lizzie Borden, you’re not a life-hack, just an imposter.

JoAnn Kibble Loves to Crush Candy.

Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite game (card, board, video, etc.)? Why?

Like the lady from the insurance commercial, Kankakee basement dweller JoAnn “JK” Kibble loves crushing her candy game, when she’s not watching 500 Left Turns or chasing squirrels.

“Three in a row! Sweeeet!”