Ahh…memories. This photo Sybil had taken outside this lovely café on LaSalle Street, where she had kicked Damien Hurlbutt in the jimmies for stalking her and harassing his ex-wife Lori, has been viewed by more than 20K people. Hopefully he will wear his mask next time instead of acting like a male Karen, and stop hoovering.
Sybil and Lori thank you!
Kankakee bill collector and dog-food connoisseur Sybil Kibble and her mother JoAnn Kibble walked into a craft store looking for “Live, Laugh, Love” decor and fake plastic squirrels. Before they made their way through the check-out labyrinth, they had some fun in the alphabet section.
Kankakee debt collection firm Credit Recovery Associates (CRASS) partnered with drugstore chain Wally Green’s to offer coffees to all collectors who doubled down on debt. Never settling for less, CRASS collectors ask creditors for twice they can afford. As a reward, drugstore owner, wacky inventor and wannabe ladies’ man Wally Green gave all collectors who made their Double-Down quota one cup of coffee Buy One Get One Half Off (But Never Free).
Isn’t Wally generous? He thinks so.
“Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Home Shopping Channel is about to show a whole hour of carpeting! I get to watch m’ladies walk on them BAREFOOT!” Bourbonnais cinema clerk, neckbeard and communal narcissist Damien Hurlbutt exclaims, drools.
Shady Bourbonnais neckbeard and communal narcissist Damien Hurlbutt went dumpster diving the morning after he and his part-time lover from Detroit, Rachel Shelley, got into a bitter fight and she threw some of his hoarded items into the dumpster.
“Dumpster! Dumpster! Dumpster!” Rachel cried as she chucked Damien’s hoard into the metal hopper outside his apartment.
As Damien dug for the treasures he loved more than his woman, little did he notice the danger lurking behind him.
YOUR MISSION, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT: DROP ALL NARCISSISTS INTO A VOLCANO AND VAPORIZE THEM SO THEY CANNOT MAKE MORE.
These morons will self-destruct in five seconds.
Forty-something communal narcadoodle, show-tunes singer for charity and poopyburner Bern Moran Cacca made a TakTik video confessing her love for fellow pooper GG Allin, hoping to send it to him in private, only to realize he has been dead since 1993.
#PoopingForBernadette
Communal narcissist and poopyburner Bern Cacca decides to shed her squeaky-clean facade a bit and try posing for OnlyFarts.
Bored with the lack of attention and revenue from her side-hustle, Bern heads out to the Bourbonnais Buckstars café to grab a cuppa mud. Ennui took over; Bern sat around hoping customers would recognize the wannabe celebrity that is THE Bernadette Cacca, charity singer and Port-O-Dump Proprietor. Nope.
In walks Gothic Diana Ross, local singer and Bern’s next-door-neighbour.
“You walked by Peppi and I and did not even say hi?”
Ennui took over Bern, as Diana heads toward the café bar to place her order, so she starts making up crap to try and smear her, hoping customers might just overhear her.
“Meet me outside” Bern whispers to Diana as she opens the coffeehouse door to exit.
Not wanting to cause a scene, Diana rightfully ignores Bern egging her on.
Bern follows Diana outside and starts hurling insults about her singing.
“You sing like a dying cow!” Bern screams to Diana as she lunges toward her.
Moron Kombat begins. Gothic Diana Ross knocks out Bern Cacca with one blow to her turd-eating piehole and walks to her car, not a drop of coffee spilled, unlike the bulbous Bernadette Cacca whose spilled hers all over the pavement.
Kankakee bill collector, LeBaron driver and dog-food connoisseur Sybil Kibble got these dog bones for her birthday. Shhh…don’t tell her it’s people food.
Happy Birthday to the Kibbler!
What are you listening to on the radio?
Manteno communal narcissist and entremanure Bern Cacca is listening to “Party Poops” as she peels out her driveway, thinking she is really drifting, when she is just a crappy driver.
MoronicArts 
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