March 15th

March 15, 2022March 15, 2022 ~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Beware the ides of March.

Beware the butts of narcs.

Don’t let them light their farts.

Narc-a-doodle doo,

I don’t like you.

You don’t like me but you pretend to.

Narc-a-doodle doo,

I don’t like you.

I don’t like you, and don’t intend to.

How to Reply to Nosey Questions

September 17, 2021December 20, 2021 ~ Jen ~ 1 Comment

The next time a nosey moron starts bothering with their unsolicited questions about your business, try these answers!

PS: If you feel so inclined, I would love if you followed me on Ko-Fi, where I post exclusive works-in-progress. It is free to join and comment. Tips always appreciated, never expected. Please tell a friend.

https://ko-fi.com/artbyjenx

How Bern Cacca Takes Her Coffee

June 11, 2021June 11, 2021 ~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

Image: Pawn Stars show still with coffee mug atop store dealer’s neck.
Text: Best I can do is make you poop. — Communal narcissist, port-o-dump operations manager, and bumbling idiot who burns her poopies in her Manteno fireplace, Bernadette “Bern” Cacca loves to drink coffee because it makes her go-go-go!

Can I Talk To Sybil? I’m at the Beach.

April 15, 2021 ~ Jen ~ Leave a comment

A black-and-white image of two people on a video conference.

Kankakee bill collector Sybil Kibble and I had trouble connecting over Zuum, so she went to her local PetMart to buy some dog-food dinner.

Since her favorite — Alpo — was not on sale, she bought this doggie doobie hoping to get high.

Sybil did not get the buzz she wanted after working a long, hard day interrupting strangers’ meals, so she gave it to her ma JoAnn who rents her basement, because JoAnn loves squirrel-watching. What a doozy.