Tag: kankakee

Happy Mother’s Day from Sybil Kibble!

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A colour drawing of a middle aged, blonde woman wearing glasses next to an elderly lady with short, curly hair. Text: Sut mae ac IL (Translation: how are you, from Illinois)

Kankakee bill collector Sybil Kibble bought her Ma JoAnn Kibble some new bus parts for her collection.

There is more to the story…

https://ko-fi.com/i/IF1F04KHK1

Can I Talk To Sybil? I’m at the Beach.

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A black-and-white image of two people on a video conference.

Kankakee bill collector Sybil Kibble and I had trouble connecting over Zuum, so she went to her local PetMart to buy some dog-food dinner.

Since her favorite — Alpo — was not on sale, she bought this doggie doobie hoping to get high.

Sybil did not get the buzz she wanted after working a long, hard day interrupting strangers’ meals, so she gave it to her ma JoAnn who rents her basement, because JoAnn loves squirrel-watching. What a doozy.

A colour photograph of a squirrel-shaped dog toy. Text reads: "Dog toys and treats crafted with naturally calming doggnip".

[ EYES ONLY: What’s a virtual tip jar? Find out here. Or just look at stuff, that’s okay too. ]

Madeline, You Tried.

~ Jen ~ 1 Comment
Black text on a white background reading "All RESIDNTS…A vacancy exists on the Board of Commissioner position…"
Property Manager, traveling clown, and overt narcissist Madeline Topolla-Teirant wants all the “residnts” to know there exists a vacancy on the “Board of Commissioner position” at Kankakee’s Best Low-Budget Apartments. Right.

The Narcissist Brothers – Robbie and Damien Hurlbutt

~ Jen ~ 1 Comment
A black and white drawing featuring concentric circles, a cartoon of an Elvis impersonator and a neckbeard wearing a fedora. Text: Robbie, Damien. Old Supply, New Supply. You Got It, We Want It. Robbie and Damien
New Supply, Old Supply — You Got It, We Want it.

They know what they want, and they want it right now!

Call D. U. Hurlbutt at 500-FART-NOW

A Dale and a Dream

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A black-and-white cartoon of a middle aged man sitting in his kitchen, scratching lottery tickets.

CRASS debt collector Dale Davis finally got his economic stimulus check, so he made a big donation to the Illinois State Lottery.

Romance Scammers Are Really Dumb.

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This Moron slid into Kankakee debt collector and dog-food enthusiast Sybil Kibble’s inbox and would not let go. Silly scammer, get a hobby.

Screenshot of a conversation between Sybil Kibble and a scambot.

Oh Snap, My Dealer!

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Kankakee County karaoke king, poor Elvis impersonator and covert narcissist Robbie Hurlbutt was so happy to finally get some people at one of his many gigs. Robbie believes in quantity over quality, or staying “prolific”, as Robbie says. Too bad his speedball dealer showed up.

Set It To Stun

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It’s not a laser

It’s not a razor

It’s not a phaser

It’s not a taser

We don’t know what it is, but it’s coming soon to Wally Green’s.

“I want it! I want it!” — Kankakee sociopath and petty criminal Pat Splatt.

Madeline Clowns Around

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Kankakee slumlord, cheapskate and overt narcissist Madeline Topolla-Teirant is trying to get her life back in balance during her Moronic Half-Assets (MHA) cross-country tour, coming soon to Utica, New York!

Fat clown balances on a ball while juggling, falls off

Wally Green’s Early Concept Designs

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At age 12, Kankakee inventor of useless crap and future drugstore owner put on his thinking cap to draw up some rather…interesting concept sketches for an invention he started selling on late night TV. Yeah.