They know what they want, and they want it right now!
Call D. U. Hurlbutt at 500-FART-NOW
The Narcissist Brothers – Robbie and Damien Hurlbutt
Tag: kankakee
A Dale and a Dream
CRASS debt collector Dale Davis finally got his economic stimulus check, so he made a big donation to the Illinois State Lottery.
Share this:
Romance Scammers Are Really Dumb.
This Moron slid into Kankakee debt collector and dog-food enthusiast Sybil Kibble’s inbox and would not let go. Silly scammer, get a hobby.
Share this:
Oh Snap, My Dealer!
Kankakee County karaoke king, poor Elvis impersonator and covert narcissist Robbie Hurlbutt was so happy to finally get some people at one of his many gigs. Robbie believes in quantity over quality, or staying “prolific”, as Robbie says. Too bad his speedball dealer showed up.
Share this:
Set It To Stun
It’s not a laser
It’s not a razor
It’s not a phaser
It’s not a taser
We don’t know what it is, but it’s coming soon to Wally Green’s.
“I want it! I want it!” — Kankakee sociopath and petty criminal Pat Splatt.
Share this:
Madeline Clowns Around
Kankakee slumlord, cheapskate and overt narcissist Madeline Topolla-Teirant is trying to get her life back in balance during her Moronic Half-Assets (MHA) cross-country tour, coming soon to Utica, New York!
Share this:
Wally Green’s Early Concept Designs
At age 12, Kankakee inventor of useless crap and future drugstore owner put on his thinking cap to draw up some rather…interesting concept sketches for an invention he started selling on late night TV. Yeah.
Share this:
Kankakee Finally Makes a Top Ten List
We here at MoronicArts congratulate Kankakee for making number five on this list.
Share this:
What is Wally Green Inventing Now?
Oh what, pray tell do you think he is making? Wally wants to sell these inventions in the Kankakee Wally Green’s pharmacies. Look for them on a corner near you!
GLASSHOLES:
These sunglasses slip off and plop on the floor so you have to buy more! Other features that Wally think will change your life:
These glasses get caught on all your stuff, just to annoy you. Made of the cheapest plastic in Illinois, Glassholes smear constantly despite daily cleaning. Pair them with a face mask, they will be sure to steam up without fail.
Feel the power of Glassholes when they disappear within the bowels of your bag only to reappear when not looking for them.
PLASTIC BOTTLE TABS:
Mandatory for all Wally Greens’ products, they make all products you buy twice as hard to open! Buy one, get one 50 per cent off (but never free).
AUTOINCORRECT:
Now with even more errors, Autoincorrect is now pre-installed in every phone! Embarrass your co-workers! Impress your friends with each new autoincorrection.
HALF-MOON TOILET SEAT:
The half-moon toilet seat is a real game-changer, it only fits half your moon! Wally Green’s uses less plastic and you pay more money. Sit on it incorrectly and you might pinch your thigh! This product is a win-win-win for Wally Green.
MoronicArts 
You must be logged in to post a comment.