My phone fell in the toilet.
This guy won’t take no for an answer. No means no!
Someone used the restroom and did not flush!
Online trolls get chased out their mothers’ basements and bother people in person instead…
She forgot to wash her hands!
Soap is cheap: why don’t people bathe?
This is the eighth time this week some nosey stranger harassed me on the bus! Why won’t they get a hobby?
Hello Sybil, welcome home. How was your day?”
“Oh hey ma, I’m a ghost host now. This nice ghostie followed me home from Buckstars today. She’s really cool. I met her in the bathroom three years ago. I was just sittin’ down minding my own business when she went right through me.”
“Oh cool! What did it feel like?”
“Very breezy and soothing, like a natural muscle relaxer.”
“You mean supernatural.”
Deerfield, Illinois-born drugstore chief, wacky inventor and barfly Wally Green is playing solitaire at The Gaslight after the nice lady in heels rejected his moves. Apparently his tall tales about wrongly losing the deed to Manhattan Island – after pirates had stolen it from his ancestors – was too much for her to handle. I wonder what she thinks of the air-horn inside his nose which blares whenever he blows it.
Manteno’s self-proclaimed “giver extraordinaire” who performs accordion covers of pop-tunes to raise money for the photo opportunity, Bernadette Cacca holds a kitschy, Hawaiian-themed shindig to thank her enablers, the Poopy Groupies. She really wants them to know she just loves their continued excellence in bum-kissing and useless-drama creation.
“That’s so bad!” Bernadette says as Peppi leaves the party. “He just came for the food and did not stay. All I do for him! All I do for the world! He just left me here to die alone!”
“He left for the washroom, Bern. I would too if I ate pineapple on pizza,” JB the Turd-Burglar tells his crush, the Manteno Wonder herself, Mrs. Bernadette Cacca.
The Moroniverse thanks our l33t readers for all your likes of our silly tales. You rock!
This is a spam I got for — you guessed it — spam.
Is a spam for spam a metaspam? I have so many questions and I want none of them answered.
Maybe this guy could use their services.
I wonder if they sell generic spam, also?
I will ask Pat Splatt. Maybe.
Manteno’s favourite pretend-do-gooder Bernadette Cacca plays accordion cover tunes for the Manteno Optimal Club. She also tries raise funds for Ukraine – and of course – the photo opportunity. Why donate anonymously when you can make it look like you care?
She only accepts Craptocoin, mined the old-fashioned way, donating 10 per cent of her tips to charity. She takes the rest home and burns it in her fireplace.
From what is Craptocoin made? NFTs – Newly Formed Turds!
Butt first, Mrs. Cacca has to drink and eat on her campaign to promote irrregularity for her regulars.
Don’t want to see that post? Just refresh Fakebook and you will see it again on a recursive loop! Why do senior leaders at mega-corporations get paid a lot of money to make moronic decisions? Just like a dog licking his ‘nads, they do it because they CAN.
Kankakee Rappers Ty-Fowl and D-Fail (Tyrell Fowler and Doug Failure) debut their new Extended Play rap record, “All About Us!”
Coming soon to AudioCumulus!
MoronicArts 
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