Turn this:
Into this:
Turn your Turd Machine Deluxe into a word-salad shooter with this new adapter from Wally Green’s!
Take aim at your enemies from the comfort of your own phone and blast them with wooden letters, magnetic poetry and plastic kindergarten ABCs using Wally’s patented remote CrapApp!
Get the word-salad variety pack: regular, tactile and super-sized, only available at your corner Wally Green’s drugstore! Buy one, get one half off (but never free).
No vegetables were harmed in the making of this story.
MoronicArts 
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