Ten ways to ward off cold weather gear enquirers.

Try these helpful replies to nosey “Where’s your jacket?” spammers:

1. Busy.
2. Google it.
3. At 30,000 feet.
4. My dog ate it
5. No you can’t borrow it.
6. It’s pushing up daisies.
7. :: random fart noises::
8. Say the name of a ghost town.
9. A horse took it.
10. The network is down.